Bureaucrazy

Today, I spent a good portion of my day dealing with the Department of Labor and Employment. I realize now that this is a rite of passage most people experience at one point or another and this was my very first time. If you’ve only done battle with the DMV, I’m here to impart that you are, indeed, still a novice when dealing with bureaucracy.

I sat down in my home office with my coffee and picked up the phone. I was ready. Now, just for you “techie types” that might be reading this and wondering why I didn’t make my inquiry on-line, I did: they seem to have lost my information and I now had to search in vain for someone with a pulse (I’m thinking as I write this I should have been more specific and hoped for someone with a heart).

There are roughly 50 numbers you can try on the department’s website, each for a different city in that state. I tried a good sample of them. I called towns [allegedly] from one end of the state to the other (I recognize it’s possible it all goes to the same frustrating recording, but with all of those numbers listed I had to try). After going thru the “menu” with each attempt, I heard over and over, “due to high call volumes we cannot take your call at this time; please call back later” I knew I was going to have to get creative.

A friend suggested, since I speak conversational Spanish, to try pressing “numero dos” when prompted. Muy bien! Feeling awfully smart, I pressed two, went through the prompts and was informed in Spanish “due to high call volumes we cannot take your call at this time; please call back later." It occurs to me, with all the unemployed people available (and obviously trying to get through to the Department of Labor) why don’t they hire some of them to answer the phone? With the property taxes being what they are in that state, you’d have believe they can afford it.

As a last resort (and because it was now a mission) I called some obscure number I found on another part of the web site. Finally! I got a recording that was different from the one I’d heard repeatedly until this point. The recording I got was “The average wait time is now 60 minutes.” I waited so long the battery on my cordless phone died and I had to switch it before I lost my place in line. It didn’t take the full 60 minutes but the representative I got was the culmination of this experience. I presented her with my non-stupid questions and before she gave me the answers I got the obligatory “forced exhale and sucking of the tooth” treatment. I remembered to wish her a nice day.

The real irony is that you get roughly the same treatment if you call the “broadband and entertainment” company I just left. With many large companies, if you have a question about your bill you might actually get to the point where you wonder if they're hoping you’ll get so frustrated you’d just pay it and go away. So, point taken. I get it, I really do. The goal is to make this so little fun you’d most certainly rather find a job!